Since I live in the Bay Area, I have the fortune of working with many successful and talented women. Although their careers are taking off and they are earning more than reasonable pay (although there still seems to be a rather large gap between what women and men make- but that is a different story), somewhere in all of their well deserved success lies an undercoat of crushed self esteem when it comes to their dating lives. Even if they are couples, married or in steady commitments, there still seems to be a major lack of confidence budding in the growth department we called love. So, one might ask, “what gives?” and my answer to this is that the reason there are issues both surrounding relationships as well as in the intrinsic nature of the relationship itself, the biggest challenge I see is that each person has simply not “done the work”. It’s really easy to blame the other for not *being* the right one, or for not having sex, or even for not living up to the standards you once made for yourself; but the biggest challenge I see is that most people have big black blind spots.
So what to do? Well, improving on your self esteem unfortunately is not a tasty treat so some choose to go elsewhere for their fix. I, on the other hand, would have never been to the places inside myself had I not gone down under. So, choose a therapist and stick with what it is that you 1) really want, 2) really deserve and most of all 3) what in life would bring you more pleasure and closer to the person you actually really are.
Stay tuned for more on the next blog.
Ask Alison -She’ll Tell You!