After counseling many couples and individuals, I have come to hear similar questions being asked across the board. I will help you answer some of those questions, however I will need your help in doing so. The next few posts will be about common couples questions that I keep hearing. Instead of my answering them for you, I would like you to write in (or privately) about what really *gets* you. What I mean, is what in specific are you experiencing as a problem? For instance, one couple asked, “We have married/together/co-habitating for years but our sexual expressions are just not like they used to be.
The question: How can we get back the spark we once had?
- my partner and I (no matter if gay, straight, bi) love each other, however we have lost our sexual chemistry. It’s not as if it’s not there, it just seems like we don’t have the a) time, b) energy, c) drive/ambition anymore. What should we do?
1)Begin by writing down your own sexual/historical journey.
a) Start by remembering your very first kiss. Describe what it felt like and be specific.
b) As you progressed through life, what were your sexual relationship like? Were they quick and dirty, long and succulent, bumpy like rocky road? Describe just a few you remember.
c) List all the times you felt that “spark” during those relationships and all the times you did not.
b) Lastly, write down what happened as a result in that particular relationship.( i.e. how did it move forward, or did it? What were your feelings about the relationship then? Is there anything you would have done differently?)
I will help guide you toward your own answer.
Write in and tell me your experience: